A journey of Souls: Accidental Strangers?

We all know the saying: People come into our lives for a reason, season or lifetime. It's so interesting how people come in and out of our lives. Some come, some stay for a while and others go, but they leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same. I must say that I've been privileged to have met some amazing people in my life. But, it always hurt when I have to say goodbye. Nonetheless, I carry the lessons I have learned and I keep those special people in my heart forever. But I'd like to dedicate this special blog entry to someone special I have recently met.

You ever encounter a random stranger, but feel like you’ve known them forever? I did recently. I met this person randomly and it feels as if we’ve known each other for years. It feels so strange to me that I’ve been able to connect with a stranger in such a way, but I like to believe that nothing happens by chance and everything happens for a reason.  It’s like she wandered into my life unexpectedly a few months ago. And it’s funny because now I find myself hoping that we’ll be able to create a life-long friendship.

The way we met is interesting. Everyone knows about the social network twitter. It’s a safe place (at least I’d like to thinks so) where we can share our most random & inner thoughts (within the 140 character limit of course).  Well one day I tweeted a question and she responded. And here we are now today in the midst of what feels like a very unique friendship. We spend countless hours on Skype talking about everything under the sun.  We even plan out things we should do together, once I return to the States. And she’s even planning on visiting me in Korea (which I’m very excited about) I had a chance to go home and we were able to spend some time together and get to know each other more. At that point we had only known each other for about 2 months, but it just felt so natural.

It’s funny because we attended the same college and I always saw her around, but we honestly never talked. Now, I find myself missing her whenever we go long periods without talking. I kept wondering to myself: why did we not connect while I was still in the States. She even wrote to me: “You seem like such a sweet person, I wonder why we were never cool when you were here.” Perhaps I’ll never know the answer to that question.  But I do know that the process of getting to know her and creating this friendship has been a refreshing experience. And I’m looking forward to more encounters.

I guess every now and again a random stranger will wander into our lives to rekindle our fire, to share something or to even teach us a lesson. I very much believe that everyone enters my life for a reason, season or lifetime. I’m not sure why she has come into my life. But I know that I like having her here and I hope she likes having me in her life just as much. 

You can't fake friendship like this...

At one of our all girl sleep overs! #Fun

Today makes exactly 9 months that I’ve been living in Korea. It somehow seems surreal to me that I’ve come to a new place and created this amazing life. But, I’ve decided to save talking about my amazing life for another entry. I’ve decided to dedicate this blog entry to a very special person in my life: my friend Toya.

Hmmm where do I even start? I feel like I could write pages upon pages but I’ll try to keep it short and to the point. I met Toya a few years ago while we were both attending college at FSU. We became really close and ever since we’ve been creating what has been a lasting friendship. I’m so thankful for our friendship and I honestly don’t know what I would do without my “TT” (as I like to call her, even though she hates it lol.)

Before I came to Korea, I was going through a very difficult time and like any good friend Toya was there for me. I know that I couldn’t have survived that time in my life without her. Like the quote says “Friends sing the song of our heart to us when we have forgotten it.” Thank you Toya for reminding me of the love and happiness that was in me all along. I can honestly say that my experience in Korea has been richer, because I’ve had Toya here to share it with me. I’ll try to give snap shots of random moments we’ve had in Korea. We spend countless hours talking, taking pictures, eating good food, partying and laughing.

We talk about every and anything, topics range from crushes, to what we should eat for dinner, to our childhood experiences, to random moments teaching to politics to life. And whenever my life is in shambles (although it never really is) Toya always gives me the best advice. No matter if I call to complain, to tell her how in love I am (insider), to share a random laugh, to talk about a new crush, to cry, to tell her about my day or just to say hi: she's always there to lend an ear. I really value or random conversations.  

I love, love, love taking pictures, so Toya can always count on me to take out the camera and say “Let’s take a picture.” (with a big smile on my face) Although she tries to object she eventually gives in.

So, obviously food in the States is very different from food in Korea.  And more often than not we miss good food from home. So we’re always on the quest to find yummy food. Sometimes we cook or we go to our favorite restaurant Ho Lee Chow. Ho Lee Chow is like the best Chinese food ever. (yes it’s that good lol).  I will certainly miss it when I leave Korea.

Partying in Hongdae

Koreans really know how to party. They are infamous for random late nights in Hongdae (a college town) or Itaewon (the foreign district) so as the saying goes: When in Rome…ya’ll know the rest. So naturally we’ve had our fair share of party nights in Korea. They have been quite epic to say the least. There’s absolutely nothing like good friends, good drinks, good music and random Koreans to make a fun night on the town J

 Oh and yes, we laugh a lot. I guess it’s what keeps us both sane. Anyone in Korea that knows us: knows that you can always see us smiling or laughing about something #ratchet as we like to say.

During our trip to Japan :-)

I’ve said all this to say that I’m so thankful to share all of these experiences in Korea with Toya. She has really made this experience all the more fulfilling. And it’s funny because after Toya and I met we went a few months without talking. Then we randomly re-connected (although I now know that it was meant for us to reconnect) and discovered that we were both interested in moving to Korea. And now here we are: both living in Korea having the times of our lives while on the quest to maintain happiness. And we honestly deserve it. We both went through so much before we came to Korea. But now we’re here creating the happiness we deserve and it feels so good.

Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. ~Plautus

          

~*Dorothy was right, there's no place like home*~

I embarked on this journey to Korea with the intention on creating change in my life. I needed to get away. After a failed relationship, personal problems and graduating and not working in the field I intended, I started to feel aimless. (but now in hindsight, I know it was all worth it) Almost as if I was existing and not really living. My smile was starting to fade (which means change was necessary), because anybody that knows me, knows that there are two things you can always see me with: I always smile and I always wear a flower in my hair. It's my own simple way of inviting in happiness. Nonetheless, life in America just wasn't fun anymore. Of course, I had my family and friends but I had this urge to explore. To just pick up, buy a ticket to a new place and try to start a new life. Maybe you can say I was running away. But, I think of it as creating a new opportunity to manifest happiness. Afterall, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. But I've said all this to say: I did it. Korea opened up the doors of opportunity and the happiness has been flooding in. I cannot even put into words the love, joy and freedom I feel here in Korea. Sometimes it seems so unreal. 

But, after being here for 8 months I was really starting to feel home sick. Not the kind of homesick that can be cured with a Skype conversation (although Skype saves my life every day). But the kind where I wanted to hug those people I talk to on Skype everyday, hug them so tightly and never let go. So, I bought a ticket home and I left two weeks later. Finally the day came when I was leaving. I stayed at my best friend's (so lucky to have her here, but I'll save that story for another entry) house the night before (because I knew I'd surely miss her, although I made up some excuse to stay over. opps maybe I shouldn't have wrote that since I'm sure she'll be reading this). And when I was heading to the airport, tears just stated flowing. I have no idea why. I guess I was just ready to get "home."

After 16 hours of traveling, three lay overs and a million and one security checks I was finally in Miami, FL!! My family met me there and all I could think was "Wow, I'm actually home!" It seemed so unreal. I was overwhelmingly happy to be back in the place I had "ran" from, just 8 months prior. Nonetheless, it felt so good to hug my family and just look at them in person. 

While at home I did all the things I could never do in Korea. I enjoyed foods that only exist in books in Korea and I reconnected with most of the people I love. (a week was too short to see everyone) 

In my 216 hours, 12, 960 mins or 777,600 secs (yes I calculated. It was that important.)

I: Read signs in English, just because they were in English. Walked on the beach. Talked to random strangers, just because they spoke English. Spent the night with a new friend. I had like 30 lunch dates. Kissed. Cried with my sister. Took random pictures. Partied hard with my girls. Sat on a balcony (we don't have those in Korea). Had like 20 heart to hearts. Shopped (like a lot). Connected with a new friend. Met the most beautiful person, and kept wondering why we had never met before. Gave a way gifts.Went to church. Held hands. Visited Tallahassee. Got a million compliments. Walked around Lake Ella under the moon light. Hugged my sisters for what felt like forever (best feeling). Connected with my family like never before. Dinner with one of my best friends. Enjoyed "easy conversations." Cried. Watched T.V. Listened to Pandora (man I wish it worked in Korea.) Took long showers. Smiled. Wore flowers in my hair. Saw her. Got my hair braided by one of my best friends. Ate my favoritest Jamaican dish ever: curry chicken and fried plantains. Walked around Publix (I love that place). Met a really sweet worker in Publix. Sunday Dinner with my family. Had a friend cook a special dish for me. Listened to new music. Drove with the windows down, while blasting my music. Caked (all the lovers out there know what I'm talking about). Talked on Skype. Had a random person call me beautiful. Laughed so hard until I couldn't breathe. Sang my heart out while driving. Hugged my mentor (great feeling). Picked flowers. Watched families interact. Chased a butterfly.

*And it's interesting because the whole time I was home, everyone kept telling me that I was glowing and how good I looked. Maybe it was because I had my smile back. I guess Korea does a girl good :-)

So I guess the saying is true: There is absolutely no place in the world like home. I've traveled to many countries, but I have yet to find another place that I can call home.

I'm starting to feel like a real Teacher :)

Wow, I realized that I have not updated my blog in over three months. Yikes, all I can say is that life really has been picking up and I have been living my life like it's g o l d e n. Things have really taken off in the last few months and I've discovered a higher level of happiness that I didn't even know was possible. And I've just been living life like it's G O L D E N.

I'm not sure when the change happened. Perhaps it was gradual, but today I had a moment and I thought to myself: Wow, I really am a teacher and I''m making a real difference. Maybe it's all of the sweet little notes that my students give me. Or perhaps it's when I see my students' English skills getting better and better every week. It could even be when my boss told me that she specifically wanted her daughter in my class ( I'm guessing that must be a compliment.) Nonetheless, whatever the reason may be. I'm really enjoying being a teacher. It has been quite a unique experience. I'm looking forward to more epic adventures with my Korean babies, as I call them :)

My school made posters to advertise some of our classes and they put me on the poster :)

*~Soul Connections in Seoul*~

Establishing human connections is perhaps our most valuable ability/gift on Earth. Lately I've been meeting some amazing people and making some real soul connections in Seoul.. In quiet reflection, I began to think about my relationships with others and I have come to understand how those connections have played [and still are playing] a major role in my life.

I realize that in life it's easy to become so distracted and occupied with work, school, things and just life that we may neglect the relationships in our lives. But, when we go home from work or school and we put those things down, the most important thing in life is our connections to others. Human relationships and connections are so beautiful. Yet, often very difficult to establish and maintain. Creating relationships becomes difficult when we are afraid or when we hold back and push others away for fear of being hurt.  Fear is a like a snake that easily slithers into our lives, it can cause us to create these self-imposed prisons that we don't know how to get out of and we don't know how to let others in. Sometimes, we've been so hurt that we build walls without even knowing that we are isolating ourselves from the world and perhaps missing out on creating some beautiful relationships.

I don't want to fall into the trap of fear. I realize that creating relationships and establishing connections is usually a risk. It means that I will have to allow myself be vulnerable, but I'm ok with that. Alicia Keys said it best "I'd risk the fall, just to know how it feels to fly."  The 'seoul' purpose of life is to be happy, but what is happiness if we have no one to share it with?

I'm spreading my wings and flying...not worrying or operating in fear. I'm just living to create meaningful relationships [friendships] where I can give love and let love in :) I'm so thankful for all of the beautiful people I've had an opportunity to meet and cross paths with in Korea. Each of them have played a role in helping me to continuously evolve into a beautiful woman. It has been an amazing experience [and I've only been here for a about 4 months] that I will carry with me for a lifetime. I'm looking forward to the rest of the surprises that will unfold while I'm living my dreams in Korea; if the rest of my time here is anything like the beginning then I'm in for a real treat :)
*Happiness feels so good*

Korean Children say the darnest things...

A special moment with one of my students. Well on the last day of term one of my students told me that she would really miss me and she wrote me this note: (I'm going to type it exactly the way that she wrote it in her Konglish [Korean English] it's so cute)

To Derrika:
Thank you for to safe in many big trouble.
I'm always thankful to you.
I don't meet the good teacher like you.
I'm happy when I'm studying with you in your class.
You are so good teacher.
I am thanks to the God because I met you and have lots of good happy memory.
Goodbye Derrika.
From, Your student Sally.
Have a nice day!! Don't give up!!

*When I read this I was definitely near tears. Sally was one of my best students. She really inspired me and taught me a lot, I'm just glad I was able to share my spirit with her :)

Some funny moments I have had with my students:

1. One of my students randomly told me during a class [in this class I was teaching the children about modern slavery]:

Student: "Teacher you're the Black"[he had the most worried look as he said this]

Me: umm....yes I am.... [laughing on the inside]

Student: But the slaves are the black. I don't want my teacher to be a slave.

Me: Don't worry slavery is over and I'm here to be your teacher :)

Student [sigh of relief. He looked so serious lol] ok I'm happy.

2. If you talk to any ESL Teacher I'm sure they will tell you that students ask WHY for EVERYTHING. But the funny part is that they ask why for the most random things. So one day I was trying to teach my students a little slang, but clearly they did not get it. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Emma stop being such a hater

Emma: "Oh but teacher why?"

Me: Hating is not a good look.

Emma: But why? I didn't know hate has a looks. [she literally said it like this lol]

Me: I don't mean it literally.

Emma: why? Teacher I look cute!

3. Me: How was your visit to Australia? What did you do that was fun?

Student: I ate the Koala meat

Me: ....oh...really?? People eat....Koala? [looking very confused because I was expecting an answer like I went swimming or I went shopping.]

Student: Don't worry teacher I had fun. It was joke. [student laughing]

Me: uhhh ok [i was just confused lol]

As you can see I'm enjoying my experience teaching in Korea! It's not always easy and there are definitely some challenging students. But, I must say this experience is definitely worth it :)

Oppps I almost forgot...I'm an English Teacher!!

So I realize that I have neglected to write a blog post about what I actually do here in Korea. I have been so wrapped up in all of my enjoyment of Korea I forgot that to write about what I actually do here! So, I moved to Korea to become an ESL Teacher. ESL Teacher's are very popular here, because many students want to learn English. Actually, English is required by many Korean schools and many students have to take an English test along with their college admissions applications. So basically learning English is pretty important and I'm kind of a big deal as an English Teacher :)

I plant seeds of knowledge & watch them grow

 In Korea, students usually learn English in two settings: Public School and Hagwons. Hagwons are English academies where students go to learn English after school. It's very similar to a tutoring program, but it's a bit more structured. I work at a Hagwon and I must say I really enjoy it :) I think the best part of this job is that I come in contact with so many different students in one day.I have met some really amazing students that have taught me more than I could ever teach them. It's funny how teaching is such a cyclical process, in the process of teaching my students I learn lessons that cannot be found in a book and I'm forever grateful to my students for that :) My students have given this quote so much value: 

"By learning you will teach, by teaching you will learn." - Latin Proverb

A glimpse of my travels in Korea!

A beautiful Sunset

I saw the most beautiful sunset while visiting the Seoul Tower (in Seoul, South Korea). It was absolutely gorgeous. The sun looked like it was a blazing fire of red and orange hues. My friends Toya, Lisa, Gary and I decided to take a trip to the Seoul Tower. After hiking up a hill and a million endless steps we finally made it to the tower. And It was definitely worth it. The view was breath-taking. 

As I looked out over the city and saw the sun setting I could only smile. Being a writer I find metaphors for life in everything. The sunset seemed to represent a recent ending in my life. [See last blog post] Though endings are hard they give birth to a more beautiful beginning. I'm excited about this new beginning because it has already started off so well. I closed the last chapter and now I'm creating a new one of unlimited love and happiness. As I walked around the tower and saw all of the beautiful scenery I was thinking "Wow I still can't believe I'm actually living in Korea." But I'm definitely living here and loving it! :)

Also at the Seoul tower they have a gate of heart locks where couples go and put hearts on a gate to represent their love. Its such a sweet romantic gesture. I could only smile as I looked at all of the hearts scribbled with promises of love. They also had a wall of tiles where couples wrote their wishes and proclamations of love on tiles. I think its so beautiful the way they celebrate love here. Maybe one day I will be able to put a heart on the lock gate to proclaim my love to the person I plan to share the rest of my life with :)

Picnic Time

This past weekend our company hosted a picnic for all of it's different schools throughout Korea. So after clubbing the night before me and Toya (my friend from the states) struggled to wake up and go. I'm so glad we decided to get up and go, it was well worth it. The sun was shining so beautifully and the weather was amazing. When we got to the park I was so excited, we were finally starting to get a dose of spring in Korea. It had been so cold here all through out the month of April so the warm weather was so exciting.

The picnic turned out to be nice. We had a chance to enjoy some food from back home (hotdogs, hamburgers, BBQ chicken) and we hung out with friends. We also decided to go for a paddle boat ride (my idea) but we clearly almost died in the process lol. It was a little windy so the boat kept swaying. It's funny now but at the time it wasn''t. All I kept thinking is "I cannot fall in this water and mess up my favorite jeans!" Luckily we didn't fall in! And then we had a chance to take some really beautiful pictures, because they park had beautiful scenery :)

 

~*Season's Change*~

As I was walking to work today I saw beautiful Magnolias in full bloom. The leaves on trees were finally turning green and the sun was shining so beautifully. I was so excited to see that we are finally on the verge of spring in Korea. The season's are changing {not just in the weather, but in my life} Leaving behind this bitter winter with a promising spring on the horizon. 

This winter was perhaps one of the coldest winter's in Korea and ironically it was one of the coldest winter's in my life. It seemed like everything was falling apart. And every time I thought I was finally getting it together something else would go wrong. I was at a point in my life where I was questioning everything and trying to make sense of all of the things that were happening. But I started to realize that maybe it's true that somethings fall apart so other things can fall together. And maybe sometimes we think everything is going wrong when in reality we are just being prepared to be elevated to the next level of life.

But thankfully seasons change. 

Season's change and give us the opportunity to enter a new place in life. And I gladly welcome this new season in my life. It has already started out so beautifully with this move to Korea. A new start. New friends (still miss all the old ones). A new job. A new outlook. And a new me. Since being here I've really began to create the kind of happiness I was longing to have. {So glad my family and friends really supported me in my decision to move}

I've been able to reflect on all of the heartbreak, betrayal, frustration, fear and baggage I picked up in the winter of 2009 and I have simply released it. Pain has a special way of putting us in a kind of self-imposed prison, where we begin to wallow in self-pity and get caught up in negativity. I knew I had to make some changes or else I would become a prisoner of the past. So I {with the strength of GOD} dried up my tears and took control. I've been meditating, praying and learning to forgive which has truly given me the ability to let go and move forward. 

Letting go all of that excess baggage makes me feel so free. Now I can smile and really feel it and mean it. I can love without expecting anything in return. I can give kindheartedly. I can live freely. I can be happy without feeling guilty. And I can live in a happiness I never knew  existed. Sometimes we never know how strong we are until we look back and say "Wow I don't know how I made it through that?" (But deep down I know GOD carried me through and put special people in my life to help me through it. Thank you)

GOD really knows how to set up a blessing. I can now look back and put all the pieces together. I know that I went through all of those things so I could learn some valuable lessons, develop strength and test my pretty wings. And now I'm discovering a happiness that I cannot even put into words and flying my pretty wings around...

Seasons change.

And this season has changed for the best. Things may not be perfect, but I'm living my dreams in love, peace and freedom :) 

What is this Black girl doing in Korea?

I chose the topic of race for this blog entry because it is so interesting to see how my students react to me when they first meet me. On the first day I got everything from stares, to students touching my skin, to students wondering where the heck I was from. Korea is such a homogeneous culture that something as simple as hair texture baffles my students. Many of them have asked to touch my hair. Others have asked can they get a machine to make their hair like this. Koreans have a shared history that they can trace. Though they too have been victims of slavery many of them were able to stay in their own land and maintain their culture and traditions. Whereas many of the Afrikan people were forced into a foreign land and stripped of their culture and traditions. So it baffles my students when I tell them I was born in America but I do not know where my ancestors come from.

Unfortunately, in our world today race has played a major role in shaping peoples attitudes towards different groups of people. I'm inclined to argue that race is merely a socially constructed tool that has been used to divide groups of people. Nonetheless, the idea of race tends to dictate peoples attitudes toward other groups/cultures. Which in turn causes stereotypes to be formed. We all know that each culture has stereotypes. {Example Black people are ghetto or Asian people are smart} These are stereotypes that exist about each of these groups. Furthermore, how each group is portrayed in the media also has a large effect of the formation of stereotypes. And in my opinion Blacks are often misrepresented or portrayed negatively in media outlets such as: movies and television.

Well I have said all of this to say that one of my goals is to travel the world and expose different cultures to Black people {for the purposes of this blog entry Black refers to people of color across the African diaspora} and Black culture. I firmly believe that if a group of people have never met or encountered a Black person then they may believe all of the negative portrayals of Black people they have been exposed to via the media {television/movies}.

Thus, one of my goals during my hiatus in Korea, is to expose Korean peoples to Black culture. I realize that Black people are not monolithic and that we have many sub-cultures, but people tend to lump us all in one category and think we are lazy, ignorant or uneducated. Thus, I want to counter all of these negative stereotypes and demonstrate that we {Blacks} are educated, intelligent and hard workers.

Furthermore, it is my hope to travel the world and expose different cultures to the beauty of black people and to educate them about who we are and our contributions to the free world. Many of my students are surprised when I share different aspects of my rich culture. Educating people does not validate who I am and the contributions my ancestors made, but it does provide an opportunity for exploration, understanding and insight.

*~I'm just a Black girl trying to show the world my beauty, history and culture in the process of exploring the world one country as a time. My Black does not define me, but it inspires me*~

Am I really living in Korea?

Sometimes I wake up and I'm like "wow I can't believe I'm actually living in Korea." But, I must say that I have been enjoying my time here. I feel so far removed from everything and it makes me happy because I feel like I can start over. It's not that life was bad in the states, it was actually great. But I needed change. I needed to get away and try something new. I have never been the kind of person that could be happy doing the same old thing for so long. So after I graduated I wanted to go places and see the world. But, I didn't know how I was gonna do that with some dreams and a empty savings account. But, once I found out about teaching here I was excited to try the opportunity. And I'm so glad I made the choice to come here. I feel free here.


Gosh, I honestly never imagined that I would be living in Korea, teaching. But, here I am and I love it! Sometimes, it seems so surreal. There are moments when I'm walking down the street and I see a sea of Korean faces and I'm instantly reminded that I'm not back in FL. There are other times when I go into restaurants only to find that no one speaks English. But it's amazing what a smile will do for you. There is one restaurant I go to at least three days a week and I feel like the owners have become like an extended family. They always get so excited when I come in. We communicate with smiles, hand gestures and broken English and Korean. We cannot speak the same language, but we share a common humanity that speaks so much louder than words.


There are times I get a little homesick. Especially when I wanna pick up the phone and call at random moments, but then I remember that there is a 14-hour time difference. Other times I get homesick when I just wanna go to a place that sells grits and fried chicken for breakfast (lol). Then there are those times when I want to go out for a drink with my girls and I realize that they are thousands of miles away. (sigh I miss my family and friends a lot)


Nonetheless, I wouldn't change this experience for anything. It has been well worth the wait. ~I'm just trying to live my life like it's G O L D E N~